Learning How to Live by Caring

Have you ever stopped caring? I have. When I was younger my parents had no control over our food. They’d pile on plate after plate of all the helpings that we could have ever wanted and it lead to most of us quickly becoming over weight. It didn’t matter, though, because mom and dad were over weight themselves. Obese, even. That was our standard growing up – to be like them. So that’s why I’ve been taking Somatodrol lately after pushing myself to start working out more. I want to turn this fat into something that society deems to be acceptable.

Truthfully, though, I just don’t want to die young. I don’t want to live a life riddled with diabetes, cancer, heart disease or other neurological disorders. It’s all connected to our state of being. The hardest part about all of this? It wasn’t making the decision to go to the gym. It wasn’t working out, sure that was hard, but it was easy compared to learning how to care about myself. In school I was treated less than human. I wasn’t treated like a person in the slightest so I learned to not care about anything I might have done or would ever do. It didn’t matter because nobody would care about me.

Those who would? My parents? They died. They died when I was in college. A year a part from one another they had both died from massive and sudden cardiac failure. Heart attacks. Their lifestyles were responsible for their loss of life and in turn changed the way I would forever look at my life. I would not end up like that. I would not end up in a box in the ground because I chose to be fat. No, I would learn to care and I would learn to live.